Stupid Things Teachers Say

After my last blog on the stupid things that men say, I have been thinking a lot. This thinking has lead me to the conclusion that there are so many more people in this world who say dumb things.

Now before all of you get too riled up about this topic, I will first say that I respect all teachers and the profession in which they reside. And I will say this definitely does not reflect all of the teachers out there. I actually had a few pretty cool teachers growing up who never said any of these stupid things, but in fact said intelligent and insightful things that actually helped me to learn and grow throughout my childhood (Shocking, I know).

The rest of them, however, were quite condescending most of the time. This left me feeling frustrated, stupid and somewhat mad, day in and day out. However, teacher's really shouldn't be making you feel this way. They should be building you up, not tearing you down.

Reflecting back on this, I am so glad that I am now in college and don't have to deal with any of these stupid things being said to me anymore. But I think that they should be addressed, because a lot of the time, these things are upsetting, demeaning and only make kids resent going to school.

So if you are a teacher, you should probably avoid saying any of these things:

1. Me: Can I go to the washroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you?

I don't know if you think you're being funny when you say this or if you're just trying to be an asshole, but it's fucking annoying. I asked you a simple question to which you should simply respond to with 'yes'. I don't need this weird reverse psychology, I'm funny, 'May I' shit, I need a hall pass before I pee my pants!

2. Me: Can I go to the washroom? Teacher: No.

The only thing worse than the statement above is when you ask to go to the bathroom and the teacher says no or you should have gone during lunch. First off, lunch is for eating. Second, are you really going to make me uncomfortable for the rest of class and deny me the right of peeing just so I can listen to you blabber on about the quadratic formula or some other irrelevant shit? This is especially frustrating as a woman who sometimes has womanly problems that need to be tended to.

NEWSFLASH: If I didn't have to go, I wouldn't have asked you!

3. Pay attention class, you will use this for the rest of your life!

You do not know how many times I heard this in school in reference to things that I have NEVER used again in my life. Example: How to calculate the curve of a parabola, cursive writing, photosynthesis, how to write a haiku, how to play the recorder, how to drop an egg from a balcony and not break it...(Need I go on?). Maybe you should teach me how to do taxes or pay bills, cause I have no idea how to do that, and that shit is ACTUALLY useful.

4. The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do!

Actually I'm pretty sure the bell does dismiss me. And if it doesn't and the bell really is as irrelevant as you say it is than why am I being subjected to listening to it's annoying, high pitched tone 8+ times a day? Last time I checked, the school day runs on a schedule, and it's not my problem if you can't stick to it!

5. There are no stupid questions.

If there is one thing that life has taught me thus far, it is that there actually are stupid questions, and people ask them all of the time. Also the amount of times I've heard a teacher say this only to be asked the most moronic question directly afterwords is a bit ridiculous. Stupidity is real, and you are only perpetuating it by ignoring it.

6. Saying anything that centres out a student.

If I was talking in class, the teacher would centre me out. If I zoned out in silence and was consumed by my own thoughts, the teacher would centre me out. If I was texting in class, the teacher would centre me out. If I didn't do my homework, the teacher would centre me out. If I went above and beyond and completed an amazing project, the teacher would centre me out. No matter what the reason, centring a student out is never a good idea. It just makes us feel embarrassed and upset, and it makes you look condescending and insensitive. If you want to tell me something, pull me aside after class, don't say it in front of the whole class.

8. The class average for this test was really low. You're all going to have to study a lot harder next time.

If the whole class does shitty on an assignment, then maybe it's time to stop blaming them and start looking at yourself because you're probably either A) Grading way too hard, or B) You didn't teach the content well enough. If I ever did bad on a test it wasn't for lack of effort, it was probably because I just didn't understand.

9. No one is going to look after you when you're in college.

The amount of times I asked for an extension on a paper or asked a question during a test, only to be told "I'll help you this time, but when you're in college your professor won't be this accommodating" is ridiculous. But do not let this scare you, because it is not true at all. As a college student I can now say that my professors, TA's and advisors are 10x more accommodating than my high school teachers ever were.

10. You're all in for a shock when you get into the real world.

I'm sorry is this world I'm living in imaginary? Is it all just a dream? If so can I wake up soon because I hate it here. Teachers like to try and use the concept of "The Future" to threaten/scare you when they should really be making their best effort to prepare you for it. And as a 20 year old, who is living in the "real world", I can honestly say I prefer it to whatever sort of world high school is.

I could probably think of way more than this if I wanted to, but I will leave it here so I simply do not offend the entire teacher population of the world.

All I'm saying, is think about some of this stuff before you say it, and stop subjecting students to these eye-roll worthy conventions that we bitch about you saying behind your back (or on a blog on the internet).

That is all.